Lyrics – Lump of Coal

 

Holiday songs spanning Thanksgiving (“Black Friday’s Eve”) and Christmas (“The Krampus Comes Out Tonight,” “Go Tell It On the Mountain”) along with a few live tunes, including “Highway 17″ with new verses.

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Black Friday’s Eve
The Krampus Comes Out Tonight
Go Tell It On the Mountain
Entertaining an Angel
Broke
Highway 17 Revisited

Black Friday’s Eve
We sat round the table with family and friends
Held hands, gave thanks, and all said “amen”
Watched every game – day turned to night
Now I’m out in the cold – something ain’t right

I should be home sleeping off a tryptophan buzz
But I’m sucking down Starbucks at midnight because
We’re waiting in line to buy discount TVs
Outside a Walmart on Black Friday’s Eve

A long time ago it wasn’t like this
I’d scour the catalogs – pick one perfect gift
It’s all different now – how much can you buy?
I don’t know, but they look happier over at REI

I should be home sleeping off a tryptophan buzz
But I’m sucking down Starbucks at midnight because
To buy things we don’t need
Outside a Walmart on Black Friday’s Eve

If it were up to me, we’d ditch all the gifts
Forget all the shopping, and just call it quits
Hit Christmas Eve service – get together and eat
With all of our family…
…or at least those to whom we still speak

The line’s started moving – the fights have ensued
It’s tradition now – what else can ya do?
Maybe next year I’ll stand my ground
I’ll sleep in on Friday…
…do my shopping when Cyber Monday rolls ’round

The Krampus Comes Out Tonight
Kids have it easy in the western world
At Christmas time the boys and girls
Do their best to make Santa’s list
But in old-world Europe there’s another guy
Makes the bad kids run and hide
The storyit goes like this

He’s not the Christmas angel
He’s Santa’s evil twin
On Christmas Eve when the bad kids sleep
That’s when his work begins

Cloven hooves and a coal black suit
He’s really quite a sight
Hide your stockings – say your prayers
The Krampus comes out tonight

The Krampus origins aren’t all that clear
They go back a couple of thousand years
But every myth agrees that punishment is his goal
He might use a switch – might use a chain
In some countries he’ll just drag you away
You’d be happy to settle for a lump of coal

He’s not the Christmas angel
He’s Santa’s evil twin
On Christmas Eve when the bad kids sleep
That’s when his work begins

A drunken beast with long sharp teeth
He’s really quite a sight
Hide your stockings – say your prayers
The Krampus comes out tonight

He doesn’t get a TV special
You won’t see him in a Christmas card
With any luck you won’t see him at all

So kids you be good – just like you know you should
The moral’s simple as that
Hope you get a visit from the guy in red (on Christmas Eve)
Instead of that demon dressed in black
Merry Christmas…and watch your back

Go Tell It On the Mountain
When I was a seeker
I sought both night and day
I asked the Lord to help me
And he showed me the way

Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain
That Jesus Christ is born

While shepherds kept their watching
Over silent flocks by night
Behold throughout the heavens
There shown a holy light

Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain
That Jesus Christ is born

Down in a lowly manger
The humble child was born
And God sent us salvation
That blessed Christmas morn

Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain

Entertaining an Angel
The sign said he’d work for food
I doubted it
he didn’t look so good
But I gave him a couple of bucks
like everyone did
I turned to walk away
Heard, “Bless you son. Have a good day”
Then remembered something I learned
When I was a kid

You might be entertaining an angel
When you give some time
To someone you don’t know
Entertaining an angel
You might meet one anywhere you go

He said, “I could stand here and scream and shout”
Nobody sees you when you’re down and out
I stayed for awhile – saw it again and again
We talked for awhile ‘til I had to go
Gave him a twenty, but you know
I think he only needed someone to listen to him

You might be entertaining an angel
When you give some time
To someone you don’t know
Entertaining an angel
You might meet one anywhere you go

I don’t know where you’ve been
What you went through or when
But I won’t look away
I might need you to look at me someday

I shook his hand as I turned to leave
Still thinking about the angels, and then he…Smiled and said
“I read that in the bible, too” “Stranger things have happened, son”
Never know who’ll you meet when you help someone
But that angel…it might be you

You might be entertaining an angel
When you give some time
To someone you don’t know
Entertaining an angel
You might meet one anywhere you go
Yeah, you might meet one anywhere you go

Broke
Can’t make an omelet
‘til you break a few eggs
Rooster doesn’t crow
Until the breaking of day
Can’t get in shape
‘til you break a little sweat
Yaeger broke the speed of sound
And said “You ain’t seen nothing yet”

Sounds funny
But it ain’t no joke
Some things don’t work
Until they’re broke

God made Elvis
And he broke the mold
Sutter broke a rock
And he discovered gold
Gotta break a horse
To ride out on the range
If you never break the rules
Things will never really change

Sounds funny
But it ain’t no joke
Some things don’t work
Until they’re broke

Break a mirror and pay for seven years
Like the superstitious say
Sometimes you’ll bend until you break
Sometimes you gotta break away

A man don’t really pray
Until he’s broke down on his knees
To win the race
You gotta break into the lead
‘til you break a fever
You’re gonna stay in bed
If you’re tired and you’re hungry
Let’s break a little bread

Sounds funny
But it ain’t no joke
Some things don’t work
Until they’re broke

Highway 17 Revisited
High-strung yuppie in an SUV
Hits the brakes in front of me
6:00 a.m., highway 17
Motorcycles splittin’ lanes
Even in the pourin’ rain
People ain’t too bright, on highway 17

Out the door in the dark again
First thing in the morning, coffee in hand
Getting ready to make that dreadful drive
See there’s this windy road on the way to work
People goin’ to fast and they don’t even look
While the rest of us wonder if we’ll make it back home alive

Gravel truck spittin’ rock
The guy behind him cuts me off
Every day on highway 17
There’s some guy changing a flat
Everybody slow down – take a look at that
So much to see on highway 17

It’s a perfect picture of the human race
There’s a chick on the phone
Some guy shaving his face
Once I saw a driver in the fast lane watching TV
We’re just going to work
It shouldn’t be that hard
You just keep up with traffic
Look out for cars
Everybody play nice
Like when we were three

Porsche passes me at 85
Cop gives his partner a big high five
Pickin’ ‘em off on highway 17
Horns are honking, cars are rude
Lots of pent-up attitude
Then one day, it all occurred to me

See it took me years to realize
Some people just ain’t satisfied
Unless they’re doing all they can to get ahead
So you can drive like an idiot, I don’t care
They’ll still have work whenever I get there
Hurry on by – I’ll take my time instead

I’ve been singing, now about 17
For awhile – funny thing
I still learn something new most everyday
So when a tourist bounces off a concrete wall
And the lookie-loos slow things to a crawl
Take a breath, look ahead, and be on your way

I’ve seen drivers going 30 in the passing lane
While they’re texting, which is kind of insane
Would you wait, until I’m back on Highway 1?
And when day breaks over Laurel Curve
You see and small breaks and start to swerve
Here’s a tip: Quit looking at the sun!

It’s up at 5:00 and out the door
Still wondering what the I’m doin’ this for
But now I have my own philosophy
It ain’t hard, let people pass
Keep your eyes on the road, stay off my back
We’ll survive highway 17
Day after day on highway 17
Got my life in my hands on highway 17
Just get me home, from highway 17

All lyrics copyright Michael Gaither / MaryLou Tunes / ASCAP, except “Joy to the World” (public domain).

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